thoughts

If This Doesn’t Make You Mad, It Should

It’s been a long weekend, but this made headlines, and I can’t wait to vent… It’s OK, watch it… I’ll be right here…

I don’t even know where I want to start with this.

First, I showed this to you for a reason. I have an ulterior motive. The things I’m going to spew aren’t exactly new, but it seems to fall on deaf ears over and over again by the people who have told you this before. I showed you this video because I am sure it’s pissed you off. A lottery winner… Just sit and think about that for a second. When the video was playing the first thought in my head was “Damn, I need to play the lottery a million bucks sounds kind of nice.” I am sure, that your first thought was pretty similar. Even when she defends herself and says ” Well I WON a million but after I took the lump sum it was only like 700,000 then after taxes it was just a little bit over half” and you know… what kind of a paltry sum is half a million anyway? It would take a person who makes 30,000 a year 16 years plus change to rack up half a million bucks. This chick could have taken the million in payments like a normal person and lived very comfortably for 20 years, and if she was a little bit smart (and that’s a stretch to say) she could have saved, invested or even sent herself back to school to get a job or education she always wanted and lived off that money… for a lifetime.

Second, I love the way she looks to the side and smirks when she is asked if she thinks she deserves to stay on welfare and keep using her bridge card. She just got busted, on local television, doing a shitty and immoral thing. She knows she’s in the wrong, but she continues her shitty explanation with a shy smile because she puts the blame back on the system saying she just figured they would cut her off. I also absolutely love the fact that she thinks she “kinda” deserves it… I mean she has no income, two houses a new car… she’s really struggling.

Third, I put this on here because I knew seeing someone who is basically what I consider RICH now, was still collecting aid, (Since she made headlines the powers that be have now suspended her… but only because it made news) and people only seem to get mad at things when they see someone who has gotten it better than them. Remember last year when that 20 and 23 year brother and sister team sued their mom for being a bad parent because she didn’t put money in a birthday card, and made her daughter come home early from a school dance? Those kids lived in a million dollar home… yet.. the mother’s birthday card which had no money or check in it was apparently highly inappropriate.

… I hope you’re with me so far, because here comes the rant.

I am tired of the “Entitlement Generation”. I am tired of people who think that the world owes them something because they are born, can’t get rich with minimal effort and are “struggling”. I am tired of people who have found ways to “exist” without working for their money so they decide to stay on the system as long as they can. We are living in a country that is slowly turning into a society that will soon believe the system has to take care of them from a “cradle to grave” existence.

When America originally started turning over responsibilities that used to be our burden to the government, it was for a more reasonable cause. We were dealing with a large number of uneducated, rural farm people and communities who needed a way to educate children who had no means to do so. Of course, 160 years odd ago, the mentality was different.

You’ve heard the stories and the things your grandparents and maybe even parents used to say. You know the great American dream. But America isn’t really the same anymore (Excuse me this is going to be as little political as possible) The “Great American Resolve” is no longer around. People don’t believe in earning what they get anymore. We want to go to war with a terrorist entity but we want it over in 30 days and no casualties. We want to be famous like the Kardashians, but we don’t want to actually do anything to get famous, so the result is we get more slutty girls on TV and shows like “New Jersey Shore” to show teens that you don’t have to be good at anything to be famous, just have no shame.

Even after reading this, 99% of people are going to forget about it in five minutes and go on to other things. Why? It’s the way we are now wired. We are not wired anymore to believe what our forefathers told us. We believe the new lie and the YMCA “Everybody is a winner” philosophy. We know in our hearts it isn’t true, but we still want to be shocked when shit doesn’t work out for us.

Everyday, I get an email that some of my posts are “too negative” or that I need to “lighten up”. Maybe… some people say I make some valid points, but maybe I need to give people the benefit of the doubt. I say “no”. I lose friends sometimes, but I stand by what I say. Some people agree with me until I touch on a subject that hits close to home, then all of a sudden, I’m a jerk for “going there”.

The truth is, if this was a hundred years ago, the welfare system would be a lot different. Because the attitude of people would be a lot different. There are people who for instance, in WWII, pulled together, invested in war bonds, got us out of the Great Depression and went to fight for a greater good. Now, we can’t understand why other societies hate us, we have no follow through in anything that we say we are going to do, and we don’t want to be censored or taxed, but we expect the government and schools to fix roads, fix education, educate our kids about sex, and a ton of other things. We censor and cut money from the arts (which helped build society and inspired man throughout the ages) and we demand that the people in office fix things for us, when we don’t keep an eye on what they do after we voted the best looking person in office because all our facebook friends do. We don’t want troops in military combat but we sure as hell want someone to go to Uganda and find Kony.

So I may be accused of making a generalization, but it needs to be said. I don’t see government aid as a bad thing if you really need it. I do find it sad that some do nothing to better their situation. Every generation, the parents decide they want to make a better life for their kids. Somewhere along the lines a “better” life turned into a “lazy and easy” life, and we have coddled our kids and allowed them to think they are special and important without even doing anything. When I was a kid and got in trouble at school for being more punk rock in 3rd grade than I should… I dreaded seeing my dad come home from a parent/teacher conference. Today’s parents actually side with their kid when educators call their kid out, thinking that “no teacher is going to tell MY kid how to act” not realizing that if you aren’t teaching your kid right from wrong.. who is? This girl’s own mother even told the press that she isn’t breaking the law so people need to leave her alone and mind their own business. Really? I mean, don’t get me wrong, this is probably the best time to be poor. You can blame the economy, everyone is doing it, everyone is up in arms demanding people handle their debt, and complain because big business CEO’s make money while we struggle in a bad economy built on bad credit we made ourselves. I am an artist, and a capitalist. It allows me to rise and fall at my own risk. I can sink, but if I dare to be great, nothing can stop me. IF lightning should strike and my music makes a million dollars, I know I have done that through recording, touring and hard work, but if I don’t that’s alright because I am following my dream and my heart with all the resolve I can, and when they put me in the ground the day my tired meat shell can’t handle it anymore, the eulogy they give will be the story about a guy who did not take no for an answer and marched to his own drum. I think all artists should think the same.

… So I look at this video and I look at this girl. People get outraged because they wish they could win the lottery like her, and are also mad because she was still drawing money from her bridge card knowing full well she shouldn’t have it anymore, but she smiles and says she will keep using it, I am sure not expecting she would be internet famous for a negative reason. I am ticked at it too, but also more ticked off at ourselves as a society who doesn’t see that we have nurtured this belief in ourselves.

epiphany

I’ve made a few adjustments lately.

I have to. Some things come easy. Some don’t.

Truth is. Everybody around me is a liar. In some way shape and form, they are liars. They lie in the bars to meet people. They lie to their friends when they are being just a little annoying. Sometimes people lie to spare another’s feelings because they don’t think they can handle the truth, wanting to spare us from some uncomfortable feelings in the present only making it worse later. We trade our integrity and our real selves for “little white lies”, ” half truths” and “omissions”

After 2008, I resolved to never lie about my true self again. What you see… is what you get.  It makes my songs more honest, it makes my relationships deeper. I do regret that sometimes, I post my feelings and personal observations to the world. That sometimes everyone thinks I’m manically depressed because I am tapping into ugly emotions to write heartbreak stories and lyrics.

I regret it but I won’t stop.

My heart is all I have. It’s fragile and scarred but it still works. It still puts out love more than anyone you probably know. It is thoughtful, loving, and when it opens it is like a flower in bloom because everyone wants to stand near it when it is open and I am emitting love from my core. I truly believe God made me a conduit for it.

I don’t know what purpose I have on this planet. My friends who know me very well know my theory that God is saving me for a big thing, and that I should have died a dozen times over with all my stupid stunts. I think it has something to do with music, I’m not sure, but some days I feel like I don’t even have permission to die until I’ve done my task.

Why am I telling you this dear reader? I don’t know. Because I need you to understand that I don’t mask filter or hide what I say. That this blog isn’t like other blogs that have  a point or purpose or just blog about technology or travel, or Ipods… no this is a personal blog filled with crap I wrote. I need you to understand because sometimes I post stuff you may or may not follow.

With that being said… there are a few people who I am changing their security clearance to my personal being. I just think it was better when they were acquaintances and not friends. One guy, has ties to people I knew back in my hooligan days. I don’t like being reminded or having stuff brought up of  when I was a little “rough around the edges”. There are some days I feel like I am in Carlito’s Way, and although I would never succumb to that peer pressure, I don’t like the idea that I “owe” someone or have some sort of imaginary debt just because someone was in a crew with me years ago.

Another is a girl that I let into my heart, things didn’t work out like I hoped, and while she wants to be friends with me, I am concerned that being an actual friend will give her too much access to my heart that could have been hers unconditionally. I don’t dislike her… quite the opposite (I actually think I’d be quite happy with her),  I just think it was easier when she was an acquaintance and I didn’t have a tie to her like I feel I do now. That means that while it may suck to not be as close with someone as I used to be, and I may miss her, and it will blow a lot when she eventually begins dating someone who is dull, boring and a schmuck, I think it will be better than continuously reopening a dead issue I am not sure of how I ever got into. My only hope is that she doesn’t lose the potential to be what she wants, I was trying to help her with that, but the path she has chosen is clear I am a side figure, as I should be. I don’t believe in hindering people from what they think they should do, but my honesty in not being a liar makes it hard to not share this with you all. I am not disappointed in her I am more disappointed in myself for letting myself be as trusting as I was so quickly. I have to put her in a not as close category like she was when I met her, and watch her live life, have success and make mistakes from afar. (she may read this I don’t know.. she would know who she is… my only advice Doll, is to not be complacent. Ask yourself if you are and if you are just living the same thing every weekend. If you find you are, remember that list I told you to make, and start living it. I guess I can’t be the person to help you scratch those items off. I think I just cared too much and you had other plans)

The last is someone from a totally different standpoint altogether. I think sometimes it doesn’t have to be your past or matters of the heart to stop people. It can be a number of things that make you yourself. I am guarded these days.  The things I share in my posts are heavy.. but think of what I keep to myself. Some days I feel like an ugly monster, I see the frame I live in, the cosmetic features God has given me to teach humility and I feel like the villagers are coming to get me any day with pitchforks. And somedays, when girls pay attention to me, or I am particularly boyishly charming, I feel pretty invincible. It’s a part of our psyche. Sharing it with anonymous readers is easier than sharing it with people in real life. I only hope that one day I will be able to find the right people to let in.