life

It’s More Than A Ring Size

With our wedding coming in October, I went to get sized for a ring today after work.

I had not been sized for any jewelry (I don’t really wear any) since the first time I tried the marriage thing in 2005.

My ring finger got a size bigger..

It’s probably because in the last 8 years, I have switched career paths and now that I am older and working with my hands, my joints have begun to swell, but I like to think it’s because I have grown as a person instead.

There have been many changes in my life. I do not regret them. Even though my first marraige ended after 3 years and left me in the worst state of my life, it forced me to grow, put me in a new situation, and let me get creative again.

Everything I have accomplished in the last 5 years would not have been possible. I would have never “gotten the band back together”, I would have never written the books I did or gone to so many conventions. I surely would not have started the podcast with Brea, and even more… I would never have gotten together with Brea.

Our story, our path, is long and complicated. Almost as if God were testing us, we found ourselves thrust into bad situations with money, downsizing, moves, scene politics and project after project.

Unlike any other girl I have been with, Brea not only has stuck things out, she has been my partner in everything. When I feel like giving up, she makes me take a step back and assures me that togerter, we can do anything.

As an artist and a creative person, it means the world to me. As a man, it makes me want to make her my wife, and as the luckiest person in the world, she still hasn’t backed out yet.

Danger Is My Middle Name 2011-10-26 13:29:08

A  girl who works in my building passed away this morning in a car accident on the way to work. We were told it was a car wreck. The girl was 19. I did not know her. She was new. Curiosity got to me so I decided to see if I could look her up. There is [...] Read the rest of this entry »

Damn Peter Pan Was Right

It never ceases to amaze me the things we do to appease other people. Even those of us who consider ourselves free spirits are always under the constant pressure to consider ourselves different and cool enough to justify our radical behavior.

I guess I’m not making sense.

I was looking through some old photos and saw tons friends in them that I hadn’t seen in a few years. Years obviously mean more than a decade because I forget that I graduated close to 20 years ago. I sometimes forget my age because well, I suppose I never “grew up”.

I looked them up, my old friends, they weren’t hard to find, they all joined facebook when it became popular to do so, during the great myspace migration, they are still figuring out twitter and have no idea where to take their social media experience from there. They are trying very hard to stay hip and revelant in society and trying to prove they aren’t that old. But they are. Their pictures in their facebook and all their statuses have their kids, talk about family life and how great a cook their spouse is, etc. They aren’t fooling anyone. They’re old. They settled. They are ready for the kids to start growing and get into their niche. There isn’t anything wrong with that except for one thing…. I am the same age.

This is where I begin to think there is something wrong with me.I know… crazy thought right? I’m not married, although I did try that it ended badly. I live like a kid. While some of my friends played in bands, I am still doing that, taking them on the road praying we get paid enough to drink off a tab, eat and make it home with gas without dipping into the rent. I still eat meat from a can, I meet bands and came up with cohosting a podcast just to meet and interview my favorites… I’m a 6 year old who drinks. I dated girls way younger than me because well, no woman my age would think I’m serious. Even though everyone wants to be hip and cool, when you are living the life at age 35, is that still hip and cool? Or is that a lonely old man?

I think I’m just cut from a different cloth. I play music because if I don’t my soul gets sick. Trying to get people to my show to get paid, that’s just a perk. I like punk rock and star wars because that’s what I grew up on, why should I give up the things that make me happy? If I had a kid and got into music and sci fi movies would I be awful?  I don’t think so.

I guess just as my adult friends shake their head and wonder about me, I do the same for them. Yes, it’s a different and sometimes lonely life, but I do not regret the way I choose to go about my business or my life. I would rather do this than be in a sad fenced in relationship bottled up with frustration.

Plus, my girlfriend is like 11 years younger than me, so it looks like I totally win.

On The Road Again (Or Planning To Be)

The one thing I like to do as a musician is play. But I’m not very content playing in my hometown. I mean… I do it all the time right? I love my neighborhood bar, had some of the best times there the past few years, but there is something I enjoy about the open road and all the possibilities it holds. Don’t get me wrong, nine times out of ten, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, but it is an adventure.

I love going to a new place I have never been and winning over a crowd who could care less about me. It’s happened more often than not, it’s all part of paying my dues.

When my friend and tour buddy Matias Issasi told the world he was going on his “Mother Of the Road” tour and wanted some people to fill in the opening slots for his first week. I knew I had to jump on it. Even if I was going solo… I knew it had to be done. The band is doing a proper tour this year so this is my only chance to hit the road and see life even if it’s for a week, at least I’m playing music and that’s what I love to do besides write.

So now I start preparing to go. I hope I can raise enough money for gas.

New Song

So last week, I posted lyrics to this song I was working on. It’s still a work in progress. Today at the fine arts building in the college, I was messing around with some xylophones and came up with a neat part for them, It’s based on the piano part but of course the piano [...] Read the rest of this entry »

25 facts about me brought to you by writer’s block.

I cant write tonight. I’m tapped out I think. Nothing fresh to report or things to ponder.

So I looked through old posts for inspiration.  I found this in my facebook. It’s like a year or so old, but still hold true… so this is what you get tonight…

1. Every girl I dated has a soundtrack attatched to her. To this day I cant hear The Smiths, The Cure, Ned’s Atomic Dustbin, Bayside, or Smoking Popes without thinking of a girl from my past. There are more, but those are the ones that jack me up.

2. I once kicked a girl I was dating out of my apartment because she said Star Wars was dumb while the movie was playing. It never could have lasted.

3. The first time I was in a plane. I flew it.

4. I was married once. It didn’t work out. I will always be crushed by this. But I know that deep down I was meant for something great. The best thing she could have done was leave me. When I find what I am looking for I will send her a thank you card.

5. When I was little, I thought that everyone was a robot and shut down when I left the room. Sometimes I still think that.

6. I had a turtle for about 10 years. He lived with me in every apartment, met every girl in my young adult life, saw every roomate and stuck with me through all my bands. He was the closest thing I had to a best friend in that time period.

7. I am in love with the A minor chord on piano

8. My dad bought me and my brother our first comic books. I don’t know if he knew the monsters he was creating, but it changed my life. Twenty years later, my friend Fabian tracked down that Avengers comic and bought it for me.

9. All my years in bars have caused me to hate the songs “Margaritaville” and “Hotel California”. These songs are in every bar juke I have ever seen, and they are always played, after countless nights under a neon moon you would hate them too.

10. I have never felt more alive than when I am onstage playing my music. If I dont play music on a regular basis, my soul gets sick.

11. There is a period of my life from 19-25 that I have blacked out of my memory and general conversation. I don’t talk about that time much. But it was awesome.

12. I have an alter ego. His name is Tim Oi. He was in charge from 19-25. He has no guilt, no remorse, and is the life of the party. He has gotten me in the best and worst times of my life. He only comes out when I am in self preservation mode. .

13. My life last year was just like “Forgetting Sara Marshall” except it wasnt in Hawaii and not that funny.

14. My apartment is clean. This is only because I only come here to sleep and write, living is done in the outside world.

15. I have told stories my whole life. But I decided to become a writer after a pretty girl in English told me a story I wrote was pretty good. When I look back on things, most of my choices in life were made because a pretty girl put in her opinion.

16. I write for a videogame website. But I think I really just get paid to drink and travel instead.

17. I have written countless short stories. But my pride and joy are my two novels.

18. My friend Kelley got me into the blues. Years after his death, I am returning the favor by giving the music to people in need.

19. I think robot legs are hot.

20. My next girlfriend has to be passionate about something.

21. I am 32, but live like an adolescent boy.

22. music and friends saved my life this year… so thanks Scott, Neal, Danny, Corndog, Amory, Chris and Mica, Bean, Mdawg, Lance, Mitch, Steven and my brother John

23. Soy Un Monstro

24. My brother is a jerk, but he is the best friend a nerd like me could want.

25. I will always miss the life I had, but since I can’t have it back, I will live the one I got.